Grey Sloan Memorial isn’t necessarily the safest hospital to be a TV doctor. With dozens of doctors, interns, and nurses dying over the course of the past 22 seasons, viewers watched their favorite doctors suffer shootings, electrocutions, plane crashes, and Covid-19. And some deaths hurt more than others – for me, a lifelong Grey’s Anatomy fan, that death belongs to Derek Shepherd. The show’s creator, Shonda Rhimes, admits that while none of the deaths were easy to decide on, one character’s death stands out the most.

While appearing on Alex Cooper‘s Call Her Daddy podcast, Shonda revealed which character’s death hurt the most. “Probably George’s,” she said almost immediately after Alex asked. If you aren’t a fan of the medical drama, you may not understand just why George O’Malley’s death was so painful. During the premiere of the show’s sixth season, George died after being hit by a city bus.

The doctor was played by T.R. Knight who shaped George into a beloved character. “T.R. is such a lovely guy,” Shonda explained. “That was such a hard thing to do.”  In the episode where George died, none of the other doctors knew it was George they were operating on as his face was unrecognizable.

“T.R. was so amazing because he didn’t need to lay on that table,” Shonda recalled. “But he was like, ‘I’m gonna do the role, even though you’re never gonna see my face’… He was wonderful. I mean, it broke me, so I knew that the audience would respond to it, but I really loved it.”

While Shonda no longer serves as a showrunner of Grey’s Anatomy, she is a producer and has the final say on significant decisions. The show’s 22nd season premiered on October 9 and the episode was action packed. Season 21 ended with Dr. Amelia Shepherd (played by Caterina Scorsone) performing a high-risk surgery near a flammable acetylene tank and Meredith Grey (played by Ellen Pompeo) coming to the hospital to rescue her sister-in-law.

Just as the episode was wrapping up, an explosion occurred with the hospital going up in flames. There were many speculations about which doctor would die in the explosion. While in the operating room, Dr. Monica Beltran (played by Natalie Morales) died of internal bleeding after a heavy light fell on her pelvis. Monica was a new character, first appearing on Grey’s Anatomy in season 20.

“I wasn’t too surprised [by my character’s death],” Natalie told The Hollywood Report. “But I was surprised and also excited to have a big, dramatic Grey’s death.” She continued, joking: “You know how SNL has the five-timers club? I feel like there should be a dead Grey’s Anatomy doctor club, and I wonder if they all have something that they share – some sort of plaque like, ‘I DIED ON GREY’S ANATOMY.’ I need a plaque that says I died on Grey’s Anatomy, I guess.”

While season 22 just started, there is conversation about the future of Grey’s. Shonda told Entertainment Weekly in March, “I have zero endings for [the show] now. I mean, literally zero.” So, fans will just have to wait and see.